Currency

Not too long ago I could get my kids to do just about anything "for a high five."  That's right.  Slapping hands.  Up high.  "If you clean the basement I'll give you a high five."  "Brush your teeth and I'll give you a high five."  "Bring mommy her wine and I'll give you a high five."

But, they don't want high fives anymore.  Now they have started asking for things.  Like ice cream.  Or a dollar.  I thought I was so clever.  I wasn't bribing them with food or things.  But I guess I was bribing them, just the same.  And now that they are bigger, and a high five from mom is stupid and for babies, I'm at a loss.  Now we talk a lot about privileges.  Like TV and the Wii.  And that they need to be earned.  And then I end up threatening, and then following through on the threat, to take them away.  But that's punishing me far more than it punishes them! 

One thing that seems to work short term is losing my mind.  Quite literally.  Lately it seems, having all three kids home all day every day, I can't keep up with the mess.  The other day, after my high fives were shunned and Sophie still hadn't brushed her hair and there were still breakfast dishes on the table, I snapped.  "I JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP AROUND HERE!  I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN!"  Their faces reflected the insanity they saw in mine.  And guess what?  Things got done.  Fast. 

But I don't like losing it like that.  I feel guilty later and while the kids are doing what I asked, they are tip-toeing around me like I'm a sleeping dragon they don't want to wake.  And that just makes me feel like a monster.  So, I'll keep working on it.  There has to be a happy medium somewhere.  Right?  And in the mean time, I guess I'll have to get my own wine.  (Just kidding, Mom.  I have always gotten my own wine.)