A Model Dentist

Dentists should not be good looking.  I have had male dentists before, but they were old.  Not that old men can't be good looking, but my dentist wasn't.  Plus, I was 16, so old was probably 40, which doesn't sound so old anymore.  Anyway, since college I have had a female dentist.  She is good looking, so I should refine my statement to read: Male dentists should not be good looking.

I suppose there's a bit more to it than that.  Until this morning I was able to brag about the fact that I have never had a cavity.  Fine, I had one in a baby tooth when I was a kid, but baby teeth don't count.  At my last cleaning, at the end of August, the hygienist informed me that my dentist was out of town.  Would it be okay if one of the other dentists at the practice checked my teeth?  Checking my teeth has always meant my dentist took her little pointy metal thing and poked at my teeth for a second, then sat back and said "You have beautiful teeth."  Any dentist could do that, right? 

In walks Dr. Peterson.  Dreamy, tall, perfectly coiffed bed-head hair Dr. Peterson.  Only he didn't say I  have beautiful teeth.  He said "You have a break in one of your teeth.  We need to get that filled."  He didn't even say "a break in one of your beautiful teeth." 

This morning I was in to have it filled.  Having never really experienced this before, here's what I thought would happen: I sit down in the chair and make a joke about not having my coffee yet this morning.  Dr. Peterson, chuckling, says, "We'll get you outta here and having a cup of coffee in no time."  He has me open up and then gently fills the break with whatever they use for that type of thing.  Then he says, "That's it.  Wait 20 minutes for that coffee, okay?  Oh, and you have beautiful teeth." 

That's not what happened. 

I sat down in the chair and made a joke about not having had my coffee yet this morning.  Dr. Peterson said "We'll get you outta here and having that coffee in no time."  He laid my chair back, I opened up and he sticks a needle in my gum.  A few minutes later he has both of his hands, a cheek shield and the hygienists fingers all crammed in my mouth.  Then he starts drilling.  DRILLING!  I've heard the sounds of drills in dentists offices and often thought how awful that must be.  And now I know, for an absolute fact, how awful it is.  I get that this is a normal, every day occurrence for a dentist.  But not for me.  For me this was scary and sad and a little bit humiliating, now that I don't have perfect teeth anymore. 

But as I lay there with my mouth stretched open and the horrible sound of drilling in my head, I suddenly realized I was much more concerned about the fact that I'm due for my lip wax, but haven't gotten it done yet.  I started regretting my decision to just throw on sweats.  I could have at least put on decent shoes. What if I have a booger in my nose?!  None of this would have mattered to me if it had been my normal dentist.    But because Dr. Peterson is soap-opera-star handsome, not only was I depressed that I now have a filling (I refuse to use the word cavity), but I had to feel self-conscious as well.

The whole thing seemed to last forever, but couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes.  My tooth feels funny and now that the Novocain is wearing off it's starting to hurt just a bit.  He told me not to eat anything hard for a while and not to drink my coffee on that side of my mouth.  He said he'd seen me at my next cleaning.  He didn't say that I have beautiful teeth.