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I am 1 1/2 days into a 3 day sugar detox.  So far so good, but I would gladly give away any one of my children for a piece of chocolate right now.  Just pick one...totally your choice.

My goal during this detox is to reset myself.  Over the past three weeks, and due to a series of circumstances, I relaxed some of my "rules" when it comes to eating.  I stayed gluten-free.  I still had very little dairy.  But I started eating a little more sugar.  And then a little more. Three weeks ago, when things began to slide, I was aware of the slippery slope but made the conscious decision to go a little easy on myself.  I was struggling with some hormone stuff and, while I'm sure the sugar wasn't helping my situation, it was mentally soothing.  But then my eating slid out of my control. 

I can tell you the exact moment I lost control (and anyone who knows me knows that I do not like when I don't have control!).  For Sophie's birthday party we ordered pizza.  Usually, when I know I'm going to be around something tempting I have a plan.  I make sure I have something gluten-free that I am looking forward to eating.  I think ahead and don't let myself get in a situation where I'm feeling deprived.  But we'd had a busy day.  Wade was gone, so I was on my own for dinner.  All of the kids were running around outside playing with Sophie's new football and the left over pizza sat on the counter staring at me.  Ok, fine.  I was staring at the pizza.  My mind was carefully weighing my options.  But my hungry stomach took charge.  I quickly stuffed one piece of pizza into my mouth.  Then second.  Then a third. 

And then I waited.  I waited to feel bloated.  I waited for my stomach to revolt against the bready crust and the cheesy cheese. 

But nothing happened.

I went to bed that night definitely feeling guilt over my transgression, but also thinking that maybe gluten didn't really have much of an effect on me afterall. 

Had the last 9 months all been for nothing?

The next morning I felt sluggish.  Lazy.  And I had cravings like I hadn't had in months.  I craved bread.  I craved carbs.  I snacked all day long.  No gluten, but I had chips and GF cookies and these GF buns that Wade had bought that I didn't even like.  I kept telling myself that it was ok because it was gluten-free, conveniently forgetting that carbs and I don't get along.

The next morning was more of the same.  And each day, as I had these carby cravings, I felt powerless as I constantly gave in to them.  One full week and five pounds later, it occurred to me that this is how I used to feel.  All the time.  When "evil gluten" was only something I heard annoyingly healthy people talk about. 

I am very aware that I am now one of those annoying people.  When I asked a friend of mine, who had done this detox with me last summer, to remind me what the rules were, she responded, "No gluten.  No dairy.  No sugar.  So pretty much what you've been doing for the last 9 months." And I suppose that's true...until I wasn't.  It only took three weeks to completely derail everything I had worked really hard to achieve.  I was finally at a size and weight where I felt good.  Healthy.  I was where I wanted to be.  But once I let my guard down my pants got tight and I lost my motivation to stay on track.  Hence, the detox.

But it's not all bad.  Along with the five pounds, I've also gained the knowledge that I really do feel better without gluten, and with limited amounts of dairy and sugar.  That being said...I'm serious.  Any one of my kids for a piece of chocolate.  The offer still stands.