Three Days

My parents took my two oldest kids, Sophie and Max, up to Rabbit Lake for the rest of the week. I've been looking forward to this ever since my mom casually mentioned taking the kids once school was out and I forced her to pick dates and make it official. Just kidding, sort of. My mom and dad wanted this time with my kids and I think it's good for kids to get away from time to time. And my parent have lots of fun things planned, so I know, from my kids' perspective, these days are going to fly by.

Leading up to this morning, when my parents came to get the kids, I fantasized about what I would do with all of my time. Granted, I still have Lily, so I'm not completely child free, but she's only one kid, and she naps. And she's still fairly easy to take places. I thought about all of the shopping I could do (I'll finally get a rug for the kids' bathroom!) and the projects I can get done around the house (clean out closets and organize the rough side of the basement!). I also thought about the friends I could see now that I have three totally non-scheduled days ahead! Suddenly three days didn't seem like enough time!

And then they left.

Believe it or not, I actually had to fight back tears as they pulled out of the driveway. What am I going to do without my babies, I thought. Who am I going to talk to all day? I started thinking about how funny they are! How sweet. How Sophie likes to write "I love you. Yes I do." on every piece of paper that she finds. Or how Max, in the middle of coloring in his Super Heroes coloring book, will stop and say "Mom, I love you." I'm going to miss watching Sophie ride her bike like a pro, and the way Max forgets he's wearing his helmet and will suddenly realize it when he's watching TV. I miss their hugs and kisses. I miss how they entertain Lily for hours on end. I never really realized it before, but I like my kids. I mean really like them. Not because I have to, but because they're great kids!

Then, after I put Lily down for her nap, I did something I haven't done in years. I sat and watched Young and the Restless. Don't misunderstand, I watch Y&R almost every day. But I never sit and watch it. There wasn't any laundry to fold. No kitchen dishes to wash or put away. No toys to pick up. No one interrupted me to ask if I could get some tape/scissors/gum/water/snacks. I watched the entire thing without getting up once (Adam is alive! I knew it! And what do you think about Billy...does he really love Victoria or is he scamming her?). It felt strange, like I was doing something wrong. I kept looking around as if I heard someone approaching, but no one was there. I kept thinking I should vacuum, but then remembered that the cleaners were here yesterday and my house is spotless. I'd already done my project for the day (cleaning out the front closet), so all that was left to do was relax.

It's a fine balance. My kids aren't here, and I miss them. But when they are here, I miss the freedom to do what I want to do, like sit, when I want to do it. Even though I'm going to enjoy my three-day break (and I am, trust me), more than anything, it's going to be a good reminder of how much I like having my kids around. (Mom, I might need this reminder one or two more times throughout the summer. Just kidding, sort of.)