Clearing Out

I purged my Facebook friends recently. I "de-friended" over 100 people. Anyone I didn't really know or who I couldn't remember when last we communicated was out. It was kind of addicting, actually. Deciding who got to stay and who didn't was very powerful. I think I'm in a purging place in my life, because I'm starting to feel that way about things, too.


With three kids, my home gets overrun with clutter on a regular basis and every once in a while I can't take it anymore. I've hit that point, once again. I have dedicated this summer to getting rid of stuff. Big and small. Whether it's a picture frame somone gave me 11 years ago or a sofa and love seat set that we just don't need anymore, it's outta here! I'm tired of keeping something because I don't want to hurt the feelings of the person who gave it to me. Most of the stuff I classify as "junk" is actually nice stuff. It works, it's pretty, it has a use, just not for me. So, if someone else can use it, I want it to stop taking up space in my home and go be used (or take up space) in theirs.

I know I have said this in previous posts, but things are just things to me. There is very little with which I feel an attachment. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, wraps up memories in things. That's not wrong, but it's different then the way I work. I often feel badly when she offers up something and I say no. She sees memories and meaning, I see one more thing I have to find room for on the basement shelves. The item that first comes to mind is an old fryer that had been in her mother's basment. Cheryl asked if we wanted it. Wade remembered making donoughts with his grandma, but all I saw was something that would be thrown in storage and never used. I was too quick to say no and hurt Cheryl's feelings, which I did feel badly about. But later, when I talked to Wade about it, he agreed that we would never use it and it didn't make sense to move it from her basement to ours.



It's not just my mother-in-law. My mom also gives us things and because she is my mom, it's harder for me to say I don't want it. But, I'm learning that saying no is okay. I just picture where it will be in my home. If it's going to be put to use, I'll take it. If not, no thank you. It's kind of empowering, actually. And I've stopped feeling bad about donating things she has given me. For years I kept clothes in my closet because she bought them for me. How silly! They were old, or didn't fit, or weren't my style. But they would work for someone else, so someone else should have them.



And it's not just stuff that other people gave me. It's stuff we bought, too. Probably the hardest decision I have made in this process is to sell my piano. We bought it off of Craig's List about a year and a half ago for $100. It's about what you would expect a piano for $100 to be, but at the time I thought it was perfect. Over time, however, I realized it's too big for the space, doesn't fit in with the decor of that room and it will cost a lot more than $100 to get it in good working condition. And while I played every day when we first got it, since Lily was born I don't think I have sat down to play more than two or three times. So, it's back on Craig's List. I know we'll have a piano again someday, but that isn't the right piano and this isn't the right time.



I'm struggling, however, with stuff I find during my purging of stuff that we have a plan for, but no actual use for at the moment. And by "plan" I mean something that may or (more likely) may not happen. For instance, in my purging mode I started cleaning out a closet on the finished side of the basement. I found a bunch of stuff that we shoved there when we first moved in 5 years ago and haven't seen or thought about since. When we bought the house Wade thought we could put a bar in the basement. We were new parents then and hadn't quite realized the impact that our one-year-old would have on our house. Fast forward five years and two more kids. I found boxes of Vikings pint glasses, glass boots and tiki cups. And the real kicker, a huge 3 liter Heineken beer bottle (yes, actually filled with beer). I completely agree that all of these things would be fun to have in a bar. Someday. But realistically, are we really going to put a bar in this house? And are these items meaningful enough to justify keeping them for the next 20 years, when we're empty-nesters and might actually have the time/room/space for a bar in our next house? I'm pretty sure I know what my husband's answer will be, but I'm not so sure.



We put our treadmill and elliptical machine on Craig's List. Unlike many people who never use their excercise equipment, there was a time when I used the treadmill every day. But we joined the YMCA awhile back and now I would much rather work out there then in my basement. So, the treadmill is gone and someone is coming to look at the elliptical tomorrow. So whether the buyers use them for exercise or as clothes hangers, I'm happy to have them out of my house. The finished side of our basement is almost going to double in size once the exercise stuff is out! I can't wait!



Funny thing. Even after losing 100 "friends," I haven't missed anyone yet. As a matter of fact, I have more room now for the updates from people I actually care about. I know the same will hold true for the stuff. I won't miss it. And I'll have more room in my house for the people I actually care about!