First, a confession. I took a couple of days off the flush to enjoy a weekend up north with my girlfriends. And yes, I had coffee. Glorious, beautiful, mind-numbingly good coffee. But, as of Monday morning, I have been back on the flush.
I've learned a few things over these last few days, so I thought I would share them with you.
It works!
It worked before, so I'm not too surprised that it's working this time. Five years ago when I did the flush, I did it to the letter. No cheating. Since then I have attempted to do it a few different times, but always on my terms. I could still have creamer-laden coffee and popcorn. Or I would only follow the plan the first part of the day. Dinner was whatever I wanted. Surprisingly, I didn't get the results that I wanted. So this time I promised myself that if I was going to do it, I was going to really do it. I haven't cheated once since Monday morning. When I woke up today I felt different. When I got ready to take my shower I looked different. Of course, I stood looking at myself long enough to dwell on all of my flaws, but initially I could see just a hint of change in the right direction. I decided not to weigh myself throughout this process. The scale and I have become mortal enemies and I decided that rather than torturing myself, I am just going to do what's healthy and focus on that. But who am I kidding...after all of this, I had better lose some weight!
It's empowering!
Wade sent me an article about the pressure put upon us to eat a certain way based on where were are or who we are with. Family expects us to eat what they serve and are disappointed if we don't. Friends out to dinner scoff when someone at the table is too picky about what they order. It's looked down upon to have opinions about what we eat. I used to be picky. I used to be so careful about what I put into my body. But I let my guard down, and slowly I started eating what was put in front of me without much thought to where it came from or what it would do to my body. The flush is getting me back to my old ways and it feels good. It feels really good to be so aware of my choices. To know that what I'm putting in my body is purely good for it. And I'm starting to remember how good it feels to not eat something, even if others are offended.
Food is Fuel
Food is yummy. Food is fun. Food is company. But more than anything else, food is fuel. My daughter actually made a great analogy the other day. We were talking about eating healthy and I was explaining that what we eat has a direct effect on how we feel, or how smoothly our body works. Sophie said, "It sounds like a car. It needs gasoline to run the right way. But it wouldn't work right if you put in something else." Bingo! Just because something is tasty, or cheap, or both, does not make it okay to eat. The flush has reminded me that eating is purely about energy. And as nervous as I was about giving up all the fake stuff, it turns out I really like the way real food tastes.
I don't miss what I'm not eating
I have not had a carb in three days (other than fruit, I was just informed by Wade). I haven't eaten a crust off of a kid's plate. I haven't even licked my finger after making peanut butter and jelly. After doing the flush for the first time, I was able to stay away, for the most part, from chips and other unhealthy carbohydrates. I'm not saying I never had a carb, but they were something I was often able to pass up. But when I was pregnant with Lily I craved Doritos. They were my downfall. Once I spent nine months giving in to my temptations, it was too easy to give in to my carb cravings on a regular basis. But now that I haven't had even a single one, I am reminded once more that my body works better when I'm not loaded with potato chips.
Be mindful of mindless eating
Lastly, I have realized how often I would reach for food without thinking. Now that I have to think about everything that I eat, and am so limited in what it is I can eat, it's clear that I was mindlessly eating often throughout the day. I have caught myself, on several occasions, reaching in for a handful of animal crackers. Or opening the cupboard looking for who-knows-what, even though I'm not hungry at all. Today, however, I didn't do that at all. Something has clicked, and I think my body is running more smoothly now that it's had a few days off, um, fake food.
Today, day three (I'm not counting the days last week, since I cheated, knowing I was going to take the weekend off) has been the easiest day so far. I hope that trend continues.
However, I really can't wait to have a cup of coffee.
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