Thank You

I'm terrible at writing thank-you notes. Let me clarify. I'm actually quite good (if I do say so myself) at writing a very thoughtful, personal thank-you note. I'm not good at taking the time to actually write it.

It's not because I'm not thankful, because I am. And it's not that I forget about the gift, because I don't. I don't even forget about writing the note. I'll think about it at totally inopportune times, like in the shower or when I'm grocery shopping. Sometimes, I start writing the note, or I even get so far as to finish it and put it in an envelope. But we never have stamps, or I can't find the address, or I get distracted by a kid wanting a snack. It gets put in my "pile" and never seen again. Okay, not never. But when it finally surfaces again it's been long enough that I'm embarrassed to send it. But more often than not, I never get to writing it in the first place.

Of all the thank-yous I have forgotten to write, the only ones that continue to bother me are the ones I have forgotten to write to my Aunt Thiry. She's my godmother and she's the only relative (outside my immediate family) who remembers my birthday. She sends a check in a beautiful card and always writes a long message inside telling me what she's been doing and asking about my family. She includes a Bible verse, one that she chose just for me. This year she included a hand-made wooden cross. I used to write back. But since having kids (they seem like a convenient enough excuse) I haven't done that. Not because I'm any less appreciative of the card and Bible verse; I'm actually more so now that I have a nephew and a niece-on-the-way. I recognize now what a special relationship that is. But in an attempt to show her how much it means to me I reject the idea of a simple thank-you note and decide to write a letter instead. However, if I couldn't find the time to write a short note, it's even more daunting to find the time to write an actual hand-written letter.

The other piece of my guilt is my mother. She takes it as a personal failing on her part that I don't regularly write thank-you notes. And my Aunt Thiry is her sister. So while my mom has no idea that I didn't send a thank-you note to my friend Jen for the dinner she brought after Lily was born (I did, however, say several verbal thank yous...that has to count for something, right?) I'm sure she asks my aunt if I have sent a card yet. I can almost hear the conversation:
My mom: Did Sara send a thank-you yet for the birthday card?
Aunt Thiry: No, but I know she's thankful, I don't need a thank-you note.
My mom: She really should send a card. I raised her better than that.
Aunt Thiry: Oh, Sara is so busy. I don't need a thank-you note.
My mom: She's not too busy to write a thank-you.
Aunt Thiry: Well, I think Sara is beautiful just the way she is. I really don't need a thank-you note.

Ok, so I know what you're thinking (or at least what my mom is thinking). If I can take the time to write this post, why can't I take the time to write a thank-you note? That's a good point. And it has been bothering me all while I've been writing this morning. But there's another aspect at play. What do you do with the thank-you notes you get in the mail? I'll tell you what I do. First, of course, I read it. They pretty much all say the same thing ("Thank you for the such-and-such. It's just what I wanted. Love, So-and-so"). Then I, very gently and with great care, place the card and envelope at the top of the pile in my...garbage can. Is there anyone out there that keeps thank-you cards? If so, I will keep an eye out for you on the next episode of Hoarders. I won't get into one of my environmental kicks, but it just seems like a waste. Wouldn't a phone call make more sense? Or better yet, saying thank you in person? Unless you're going to write a letter (like I keep planning to do for my aunt) I don't see the purpose of wasting that money/stamp/paper. (BTW - I feel the same way about ALL cards. Except for Christmas cards. There's something special about Christmas cards.).

I'm not going to make any promises about being better at writing thank-yous. I know myself better than that (and lately I'm trying not to constantly set myself up for failure). But one thing I do want to be better about is saying thank you over the phone or in person. First off, I want the giver to know that the gift was safely received. And, obviously, I want the giver to know that I'm grateful for whatever it is that was sent. However, if I can't find the time to write one thank you note, I'm probably not going to find the time to call everyone who has ever given me anything. So, I ask that this post serve as a public thank you to all of the wonderful people in my life who have given me things and not gotten a thank-you card in return. You are owed more than this, but right now this is all I'm able to give. I'm hoping I can now consider myself up-to-date on thank-yous. Except for the one I owe my Aunt Thiry. I'm going to turn off my computer and write her a letter right now.